I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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