do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
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the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
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Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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