I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
