ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
