Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
