You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
