her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Randomize
