how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
