I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
