first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
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He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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