you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
