I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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