She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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