Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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