Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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