Are we in a gay sports bar?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
