The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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