I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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