be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
