Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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