Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
