Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
