New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
