Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
