i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
