Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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