if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's always time for handjobs
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
