Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
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well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
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Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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