u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
