I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
