I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
