the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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