i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
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I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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