For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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