you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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