is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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