did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
