i don't like sucking hair
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
