She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
