sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It's just like the Real World with babies
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
