i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
