HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize