were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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