Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm at about main and main street
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
