I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
