I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Randomize
