I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize