Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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