I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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