What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
