just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
