it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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