I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
