When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
