Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I think i got beer on your cat.
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