whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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