so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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