I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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