Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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