Your tits are I can't wait for
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
