Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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