420 ftw
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
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I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
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I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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